"Cis men are welcome to attend but encouraged to simply listen"

"simply listen" as in.... STFU?

It took a lot of time and a lot of dialogue to work through why this phrasing is unwelcoming. At first I didn't want to believe it... why would me all loving feminist community shed a light of discrimination?

There seems to be a lot of tension in the feminist community regarding cis men stemming from ignorance...on both sides. HOW? The patriarchy has constructed systematic suppression, this is a battle that feminists, LBGTQA, and disenfranchised people have been battling forever. Our civil liberties and body autonomy is vital to living a full life of choice and equality. Our societies gender construction established a gender binary, (i.e. woman, man) which grown into encompassing a spectrum of gender identities. A primary example of this is creating an equal playing field for the trans community by adjusting the binary to be inclusive of diverse gender associations. This is why CIS is used to prevalently in feminist and queer affiliated texts, events, and establishments. 

Cis gender:  "individuals who have a match between the gender they were assigned at birth, their bodies, and their personal identity"

This also expands further to cis het, cis sexual assumption, cis normaltivity... cis does lack inclusion on intersex bodies, so cis in not a perfect non binary solution but it is a great start on working towards accepting a wider array of gender.Of douse with the goodness of expanding also comes the badness. Cismen is used heavily in the feminist and queer communities and a key identifier to our suppressors. Many events include a disclaimer pertaining to cis men, either a higher charge for an event or a formulaic sentence that tells cis men to not blather/their opinion doesn't matter pertaining to this topic. This is very problematic. HOW & WHY?

Globally our demographic is diverse, our experiences are unique, and the only way to reverse the stigma is to share, share away! There are plenty of people in the closet, in uncertain discovery mode, or transitioning into self-awareness. Alienating terms or phrasing shut down that discovery, in that transition mode and to lessen the reach of sharing by using unwelcoming phrasing towards a specific demographic is detrimental to openness. We really need to be more carful as a community to include and welcome everyone, you never know what could be ally feels shunned before they can even imagine stepping into a new community.